I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize