I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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