Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize