I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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