I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize