.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
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Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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