i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
