I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
