You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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