We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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