Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
