I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
