I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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