You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
