even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
