butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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