she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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