batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
