well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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