I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
