Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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