Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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