That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
