I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize