i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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