and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
