Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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