You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
