My pussy is not your playground.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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