Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
