If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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