I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
