I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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