i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
