I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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