I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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