Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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