I smell stomach acid.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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