first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
