I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
