Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
