She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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