what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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