So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize