Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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