If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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