i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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