so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
