They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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