Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
