Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
high people should be assigned attendants
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
