i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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