another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
