I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
