oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
