i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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